Guess Pitchfork’s Tame Impala Review Score!
Update: Pitchfork’s Review is Out
I’m blown away. With over 1,500 votes, you predicted Pitchfork’s score of 9.3. While we’re reporting album leaks, ahead of their official retail release, we can now add “totally see into the future, man” to our skill set. Thank you guys, we are all Golden Gods. Now, does someone have some Wikipedia skills so we can all go down in the history books?
Original story: As we’ve discussed before, there’s a lot of us who love to hate Pitchfork. Pretentious and condescending at times, I’m one of those who can’t help myself, I do read the reviews. Under those shades of cool, there’s often a very talented writer. But its a mixed bag, either I get to be intrigued by a review or feel the blood boil inside of me when they dare to give one of the best records of the year a 6.0.
“this is Pitchfork gold”
Because whatever you feel about Pitchfork, their score system is hilariously stupid. Dumb (what’s the difference between 4.5 and 4.6) and fun (it’s easy to laugh at hipsters and numbers are easy as 1-2-3).
And right now Pitchfork’s staff are gearing up for their #1, favorite indie darlings, Tame Impala’s new album. We all know this is Pitchfork gold. But as with all trend setters, hipsters, journalists, connoisseurs, douchebags – Whatever they might be – The tides must turn someday. NME is well aware that Arctic Monkeys will write a bad album eventually, having learned this the hard way by giving all Oasis albums great reviews (hindsight!). And Pitchfork, they’ve got to be ahead of you guys – They set the scene, they set the score. If they are powerful enough to launch chill wave, and kill it one year later, just imagine what they can do! Kill vinyl, again? Bring back the Zune? Who knows!
So let’s be as stupid as Pitchfork’s scoring system, let’s guess what they will give the album. And yes, voting before the leak eventually happens is the ultimate hardcore way to do it! Four singles in, we’ve got this guys!
Breaking update! Rolling Stones just received a 10/10 for their reissue of Sticky Fingers. With sentences such as “the material here is about as good as you will get”, there’s now way to tell how this will effect the upcoming Tame Impala review. Some might say this is “only” a reissue. Some might say Pitchfork have stored numbers for months, and are prepared to dish out any number they see fit – Others are worried there aren’t “enough numbers to go around”. Who knows? But it’s clear, this forthcoming review will go down in the history books. Probably as a 8.7 as far as historically significant. Best new history.
Pitchfork’s Album Score for Tame Impala’s Currents will be…
- 7.0 (0%)
- 7.3 (1%)
- Below 5 (Deep Impact level!) (1%)
- 8.0 (1%)
- 8.1 (1%)
- Below 6 (Thunderdome level!) (1%)
- 7.2 (1%)
- Below 4 (2012, but in 2015!) (1%)
- 7.1 (1%)
- 7.8 (1%)
- 9.9 (1%)
- 7.5 (1%)
- 7.6 (1%)
- 7.4 (1%)
- 7.7 (1%)
- 7.9 (2%)
- Below 7 (2%)
- 8.2 (2%)
- 9.8 (3%)
- 8.3 (3%)
- 8.5 (3%)
- 8.4 (3%)
- 9.7 (3%)
- 10.0 (3%)
- 8.6 (4%)
- 9.0 (4%)
- 9.6 (5%)
- 8.9 (5%)
- 8.8 (5%)
- 8.7 (6%)
- 9.5 (6%)
- 9.1 (7%)
- 9.4 (7%)
- 9.2 (8%)
- 9.3 (8%)
Tame Impala’s Currents is out July 15th. Pitchfork gave their debut album 8.5 and the follow-up 9.0. Both awarded with “Best New Music”. I will myself, review the album once its out – Including Pitchfork’s review, and give just about everything a score, including your votes – On my podcast. Until then. Let’s be free of numbers, words or reviews, and just stick with our incredibly limited minds!
greatest poll ever! I love their scoring system though, I bet there are some guideline in how to give an album a certain score.
Has there ever been a 10.0? or 9.9 at least? aka “You’re almost Pitchfork gold” stamp of approval.
Love the poll, btw :)
MBDTF and the Moon and Antarctica by Modest Mouse. Also, the 2011 Beach Boys SMiLE Sessions (’67) was given a 10. Oh, and Kid A by Radiohead I think. TMA and Kid A’s ratings still hold true today, and it was almost obligatory to give SMiLE a 10. Kanye on the other hand, it had more to do with the cultural impact with the actual music.
Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
12 Rods Gay? EP got one back in the day that review might not hold up today but they’re an awesome I band I wouldn’t have heard of otherwise, also Flaming Lips: the Soft Bulletin as well as …and you will know us by the Trail of the Dead: Source Tags and Codes both got 10’s and I think that’s fair… MBDTF on the other hand….
I think Bjork’s Homogenic got a 9.9 when it came out, early in the sites history.
Don’t know how it lost .1…
This is so simple and hilarious. Love this website!
Hahaha you’ve got it figured out dontcha? No hate, I just think it’s a bit wrong to imply that these ratings are simply a predetermined fate of endearing fans. Perhaps Pitchfork writers like Tame Impala for a reason.
I’m sure it will be the higehst scor of the year. Probably a 9.5, or any number above 9.3 (which is the current higehst score for this year). Either ways, I’m excited for the new record!
9.2 for sure.
I’d just like to point out that this is not the ideal album to play guess the Pitchfork score with because it’s probably going to actually be a legitimately great album.
I think Kanye’s new album would work better. Or any new Parquet Courts release.
I totally agree, you make it sound like Tame Impala is just some pitchfork bullshit buzz band. Tame Impala is legitimately talented and Kevin Parker is a genius. I do agree, Pitchfork can be very pretentious and hipstery, but don’t drag Tame Impala through the mud with them.
Btw, that album they gave a 6.0.. Faith No More: Sol Invictus? Is utter shite and definitely deserved a 6.0 or worse.
I know people love to hate on Pitchfork, and while some of it deserved.
I’t just makes you look small and doesn’t make you look any better dan them.
I would also like to agree with the above, that this is also the wrong album to attach to this article.
Tame Impala are a great band, which deserve the high ratings they get. Not only from Pitchfork, but from all other music reviewers out there.
Not meant to make fun of Tame Impala, only Pitchfork’s rating system.
That Faith No More album is hot garbage and the new Tame Impala is legitimately a 9.0+ for me personally. Add in the Pitchfork dick riding factor, and you’re looking at a solid 9.5.
I just checked p4k and I died laughing when the 9.3 showed up.
The results are in!
And it’s… 9.3
The results are in!
And it’s… 9.3.
Incredible, fellow Has It Leaked faithful.
Well done guys